JOKES TAT U WILL MAKE U LAUGH FOR SURE

BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning
kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the
cigarette out of his mouth.

MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear
and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both
ears and comes out of the mouth.

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andrew says I'm ugly.What
do u think,
Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and
no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again
yesterday".

2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun
or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need
it but the sun gives us light only in the day time
when we don't need it".

3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on
talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".

4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"

5) My father is so old that when he was in school,
history was called current affairs.

6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father
is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".

7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father
that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared,
past year's performance repeated".

8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a
donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be
showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".

9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say
prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good
cook".

10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering
doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show
that nine out of ten people die of the disease you
have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others
all died".

11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of
COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married
on the same day and at the same time."

12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped
down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."

SCHOOL LIFE

school life : i know u will remember your school days after u read this ..


Here are some sayings from School.....smile!
.

Teacher: 'What is your name?'Student: 'Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai.'Teacher: 'When I ask a question in English, answer it in English.'

Student: 'My name is Sunlight.


Teacher: 'What is your name?'.Student: 'My name is Beautiful Red Underwear'Teacher: 'What kind of a name is this? Don't joke tell me the right name'Student: 'My name is Sunderlal Chadda."



Teacher: What happened in 1869?Student: Gandhiji was born.Teacher: What happened in 1873?Student: Gandhiji was four years old.



Teacher: What is the full form of maths?

Student: Mentally affected teachers harassing students

Teacher: Now children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing?Student: BROTHERLY LOVE

Teacher: Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August?Student: A holiday

Teacher: 'Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence? '

Johnny: 'Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time.'


Teacher: How old is ur father.Sunny: As old as I am.Teacher: How is it possible?

Sunny: He became father only after I was born. (1st Rank)



Teacher: There is a frog, Ship is sinking, potatoes cost Rs3/kg...Then, what is my age?Student: 32 yrs.Teacher: How do you know?Student: Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.